Failure is only a word

I have come to realize that I have many fears. I fear loneliness, and not being good enough. I am afraid that I won't live up to other people's expectations; I'm afraid I won't live up to my own expectations. I sometimes wish that I was smarter, prettier, and skinnier. I don't believe that I can do anything I want to. I don't believe that someone will eventually want to marry me. I don't believe that I will have a successful career and make a significant contribution to society. These are all things that I desperately want, but can't comprehend ever having or doing.

I know that I am not alone in this. I feel that we often hold ourselves back because we are afraid of what might happen if we fail. What is it about failure that inspires such fear? After all, failure is only a word. A word that we define; a word that has meaning only because we give it meaning. We are our own worst critics. I do not honestly believe that when people look at me they think to themselves, "I KNOW why she's not married. She's not that smart and she could stand to lose some weight. And she's never really going to do anything with her life." It sounds utterly absurd. Ridiculous in fact. I know that I am smart. I know that I am beautiful. I know that I am capable. However, do I project that image to others?

I have decided today that I will no longer hold myself back. I will no longer harbor these destructive thoughts. I will be the person that I want to be; I will no longer keep myself from achieving everything that I desire.

I was listening to a speech today, and they quoted President Theodore Roosevelt:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Theodore Roosevelt, Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Today I have learned a very valuable lesson. Be the person you want to be, regardless of what other people will think. Believe in yourself even if other people do not. Try your best in every endeavor, for failure is only a word.